Expressions in Poetry

the choice between
the silence of the night
and the tranquility of sleep

is the choice of a lifetime

the choice between
wakefulness of night
and the benefits of sleep

is a choice made for the daytime

for the daytime is wiser
morning wiser than the evening
but the nighttime is bursting
with energies of creative

the choice between
the extra time of night
and the refresh of morning

is a choice of the lifetime

weaving a pattern of the exterior
that gracefully matches the interior
a respectable amount of mystery
yet a coherent view through the periphery

thinking in terms of regret
poses an emotional threat
the universal truth – perhaps dispersed
into each person, becoming so diverse

each pair of eyes seeing distinctively
at times matching others, at times contradictory
to remain tranquil in the weaving process
not to impress, rather to express

To be called unsupportive
Filled the air with silence
Filled the room with quiet

To be called such a thing
Gave a new feeling to explore
A new mindset to break out of

To be called out for this kind
Created wonderings of being unkind
And newfound barriers

To be called unsupportive
A shock to the system
An opening of sorts

The eyes must now open
As the ears heard these words
The heart must now listen
And find its centre again

The heart must comfort
Itself in these knowings
The hand must comfort
The other in their growing

I want tomorrow
to come now
and take away the pain of yesterday
and remove the restlessness of today
the restless urge to move
the restless need to move on

but baggage disappears not
its intricacies remaining in corners
let me move on

I want tomorrow
to come soon
let me step into it with hope
soften the baggage of yesterday
before tomorrow comes
refreshed, I can shake hands with it

and step into it.

Tonight I feel like glass
Not filled with water, not as one whole
But shattered into pieces
Pieces in each corner of a room

I’ve lost touch with the self
With a firm notion of my being
Can’t comprehend the possibility
Of feeling so pulled apart

Tonight I remarked to my friend
My frequent use of the words “step by step”
Yet applying it to my own self-hood
Seems as far as the clouds

I wonder how long it shall last
This constant looking within
But looking with a magnifying glass
Inaccurate in its brokenness…

Tonight I ponder the idea
Of someone somewhere existing
With a complete feeling of wholeness
That goes with them wherever they go

When some days one feels whole
And other days – shattered
Wherein lies consistency?

Therein lies my emotional emergency

The words are plenty
multi-faceted!
Their uses infinite
Potentials bursting

The words can sting
or quietly comfort
Intuitively jumping
Topics seamless or seamed

The words act as colour
To lighten or darken
Like Mars in Gemini
Used mercilessly

The words in the head
Or in front of us, read
Giving glimpses
into the human psyche

consistency & balance
how I long for the two

but how to apply?
I do not know

I’m inconsistent!
I lack consistency
in my search for consistency

I’m unbalanced!
in my pursuit
of the ultimate balance

will it begin to make sense?

For once
Let me begin learning
what it can be like
to allow myself to feel
any type of way
without running to you
without talking of it
without the search for help

For once
Let self-reliance prevail
Let me taste the taste
of that way of being
without asking for understanding
or longing for acceptance
without asking for your perception or guidance
or forgetting about my strength

I cut the thoughts
off
before they become too much

before they overwhelm me
and bring me down

I cut the thoughts
with a knife
and let the pieces fall

an active process of stopping
an active process of accepting

I meditate
sit with myself
as I let the thoughts pass in and out
fascinating visitors

I will jump down
Just like in those dreams I have at night
For there is nothing up here
To keep me going

I will jump soon
(Just like I put off everything else)
In order to explore possibility
To keep me improving

I will jump blindfolded
Just like my navigation through life
So I cannot see where I’m landing
To keep me wondering

I will jump alone
As I’ve spent many hours
So I can realize this journey is mine
To keep me authentic

I will jump scared
Just like my inner child
But fear shall be overcome
To keep me growing

don’t want you to tell
me who to be
but want you to tell me
who i can be

maybe one day
i’ll listen

tired of my head
tired of my feels
so let me sleep them away

sleep is the shortcut

and so what does it take
for the picture to become clear?
the picture of the person
displayed to the outside

24 hours, 7 days a week
speaking from the inside out?
24 hours, 7 days a week
self-expressions uninhibited?

may it be enough
to just be in oneself
may it be unnecessary
to be pre-occupied
with the matching of the patterns
with the blending of the colours

may i not long for
to feel a wholeness
a unity
between the interior
and the exterior

and open a window
and it flies out

and breathe in
and that’s enough

and it’s enough for now
may it be enough for now

Is it fair?
The feeling of not being equal
Is it true?
The notion of some having it easier

Maybe it’s true
That some feel things stronger
Maybe it’s the case
That some thoughts are harder

Constantly conflicted
in not wanting to be selfish
But constantly aware
of needing to focus on one’s life

Once I focus on my mind
and focus on myself
Will things become easier?
Make sense – will they?

Perhaps clarity only comes
into one’s awareness
Once one stops the worry
and the hyperbolic comparisons

And maybe it is true
That we exist on different planes
Separate levels of existence
Even if the description’s pretentious

I conclude
with the perception
That experiences differ
Some thoughts feel crippling!
While others are smiling

I conclude
by accepting
That our emotional lives differ
Some feel conflicted!
While others – at peace.

it’s not a poem kinda day
all my poems dormantly lay

I thought she wasn’t seeing clearly
when she said
I choose my words too carefully

now I see
maybe she was right

I thought she had an illusion
in her perception
and failed to see me

now I see
maybe I didn’t show it clearly

however
I tried

I tried

To make up the mind
Hard as a rock
To fit the pieces
All together
The difficulty. Lingers

Why do all the sides
Call out in equal measure?
Why can’t I simply. Simply.
Make up my mind?

One can give
without giving oneself away

Once the giver loses oneself
There is no more giver

There is no more giving

I avoided the problem
until it became
less of a problem

and became my life

I can’t pretend I don’t pretend
But one pretense
That remains a stranger
is the pretense of presence

If I’m here
You will see me
If I have left
I won’t pretend
To ever be here

I leave easily
And never stay for long
The presence of pretense
Authentic as a folk song

If I stop looking
Cease the search
And merely experience as much as I can
Perhaps
I will find
That which I was looking for

Lack of focus hindering
Lack of choice an assumption
Self-consciously swimming
In the waters of expression

To live selfishly! No, that can’t be!
Give of yourself, you must
The universal is inside me
In that I shall trust

A newfound way to connect
With the other, with the self
An age-old way to reflect
It’s time to put these thoughts on a shelf